I really don't want to leave. I would rather deal with all of the pressure that let go. It's not time yet, I'm just not ready to immerse myself into another entirely different atmosphere. I can't do this, but I have to. I guess I was being quite naive when I told myself I would leave. It was one of those decisions where I told myself "yeah you might want to do this, but it won't effect you for a while so don't worry." And this was not a decision that was supposed to be made in that state of mind. I never thought I would be sad, I never thought I would want to stay. I never thought I would fear leaving the past behind. I don't know how to handle myself without this. It's almost become a home that I can go back to when I know nothing else is going right. And I know it left and right, better than the back of my hand. Yet, I chose to leave it all behind. I'm scared these times won't end up being significant in my life. And I'm not sure I want it to turn out that way. I finally figured out the entire system just in time for it to end. And now that I know it's over, I know it's all coming to a close. I never want it to end. I just want to live in these three days forever. Never leave them. I just want time to stop for a minute. I would die for a minute more. I just need one more minute.