It was so strange because he finally asked me and I didn't want to go. Why didn't I want to? Why was I holding back? Why did I feel sick inside. I didn't understand it at all. Cause when I'm with him he is all I want and when I'm not with him all I want is to be with him. But for once when this is becoming real I don't feel anything anymore. Because the chase is all I've ever known. I do want this but I just don't want everything that comes with it. I don't want people giving me shit or telling me how to live my life. I fully believe in the fact that I learn most from my own mistakes but I wont be able to learn if I cant make any.