There are two songs I listened to that summer. One that until now I thought explained it all, and one that actually did. The only emotion that I ever felt listening to the song that I thought defined my summer was forced. And the emotion that I feel with the one that actually does is real. Truthfully you can't put a song or a quote or any name at all for that matter on that summer. Because the things that I was concise of I didn't understand. And the things I didn't see until now, are way more important than all of the bullshit I thought it represented. Every break I have I feel like I need to change, I need to make some master plan to alter my life drastically. The one summer I didn't. The one summer where I didn't even try, I changed more than I ever thought. I did it so sub-concisely that it took one year and four months for me to realize that it had happened. So the song that defined that summer for me is one that I am playing right now, and for the first time, truly listening to the words, I realize that I don't even understand the lyrics. But what I can put together in my head defines everything I have been trying to put a label on. Everything that I was trying to run away from. And all this time I thought my story was one of tragedy, one of heartache and lies and broken promises. Released from the fog that is that part of my life I see that it was a story of victory. A story of suspense and danger but in the end a safe escape. I will still leave that part of me behind. I still don't ever want to look back. But now I see the outcome not the struggle. And that outcome is one of triumph. 

I thought I had my girl but she ran away
My car got stolen and I'm gonna be late
For work this week, make that the fourth day straight
But I'm fine with it
I thought I had it all but I gave it away
I quit that old job and now I'm doing okay
Those material things, they can't get in my way
Cuz I'm over it

But where ever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Who ever she is, who ever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

And this is the part
Where you find out who you are
And these are your friends
Those who've been there from the start
So to hell with the bad news
Dirt on your new shoes
It rained all of May til the month of June

But wherever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Who ever she is, who ever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

And every day in every way
She looks the same
And every care you used to have
Just seems to float away
And every day in every way
She looks the same
And every care you used to have
Just seems to float away

To hell with the new shit
Whether or not you think you fit in

She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends are just strangers in bars
Where ever she is, who ever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry
She could be rainy days, minimum wage
A book that ends with no last page
Who ever she is, who ever she may be
One things for sure,
You don't have to worry

-The Maine

Whoever She Is