When I think of the future, where I will be, I'm actually not looking forward to it at all. I feel so secure where I am now. And to leave everything would be like a hurricane pulling my life apart. I know how much my life adjusted last year without a substantial change, and I am having a hard enough time leaving that behind. This might be harder. I show a face of enthusiasm and curiosity for what next year will bring. But really, it kills me to leave. It kills me to think of life without all of this. It kills me every single day. And I don't want to look back in thirty years and think of what could have been, what maybe should have been. In this moment, I have certainty I made the right choice, but on that first day will I still feel the same? On that last day will I still feel the same? I feel alone now. Separated from everyone else around me. I feel isolated in my own universe of what seems to be relief, but just isn't quite.